You know what? I do believe I am quite done. I am sick of fighting and judgement. Parenting is hard for anyone, even harder when all you get is snark and judgment from anyone who thinks that the decisions you make are bad for your children.
I am 100% with the message in this post. Stop judging and start helping women where they are at. Start paying attention to the women that are right in front of you. I am for the health(mental and physical) of the women making these hard decisions with the information they have available to them. There is absolutely TONS of info out there and the capability to find it in many places. Way more than we have ever had before. Some of this information is good, some of it isn’t. One woman will make a completely different choice than another woman based on the SAME INFORMATION.
I may not agree with the decisions that another woman makes in regards to her children but I can support her in finding the information if she requests it or I can let it go if she is not ready. I will continue to fight for all mothers and babies, not just the ones that make the same choices as I do.
Women. Are. Dying. Shut It Down. by Ann Jamsion | Stigmama.
via Women. Are. Dying. Shut It Down. by Ann Jamsion | Stigmama.
I have made a lot of changes in the past few years. I am now making many decisions differently than my “mainstream” peers. As a result I am starting to hear quite a few differing opinions directed towards me, which I don’t usually mind as it facilitates discussion. What I find upsetting and to be honest, quite ignorant, are some of the outrageous things that are said to me. The other day I heard what, to the present date, has been the most ignorant.
“If you are birthing at home, you shouldn’t be allowed to call an ambulance.”
“You didn’t want care….”
The meaning behind this opinion was that, as an unassisted birthing woman, if you chose to not have a registered care provider at your birth, you should no longer have access to any qualified help should something go wrong at your birth. This person believes that if you choose to not have a qualified attendant at your birth and something goes wrong, you and/or your baby should die. Pretty callous when you really dig into the truth behind the words.
Now, there are some women/families that believe whatever happens while they are pregnant and/or birthing is meant to be. They don’t seek out any care, whatever happens. That is their choice and they have the right to make it.
What upsets me so much about statements like this from others? They have absolutely no right to make that choice for someone else. It is that kind of mentality that crushes basic human rights. It shows that they don’t have respect for other humans. Very sad.
I will always fight for human rights. For woman’s choice. For birthing mothers choices. For breastfeeding mothers choices. That does not mean that I believe other choices made are wrong. It just means they aren’t the right choice for me. I absolutely would not try to prevent that choice for someone else. It is not my place, not my choice, not my life to live.
I can still find a way to support others in choices that I wouldn’t make….can you?
It’s past time that I wrote this. If I had written it 5 years ago when I first got into this world of pregnancy, birth and beyond, it would have looked different…..and I suppose there is a chance that it may look slightly different 5 years from now too. Hard to say….but right now after all that I have learned and all that I have experienced, these are my beliefs. When I am hired by a client, I am with them to help them have the best pregnancy and/or be the best parent according to what they see that as. I do this by listening, relaying information and letting them know where to find information to help them make their own decisions. I am in no way there to tell them what to do or what decisions to make. I really believe that we each make our own decisions and should be able to own those decisions.
I think that the greatest thing we can do for soon to be and new parents is to give them the power to believe in themselves. They know their bodies and babies the best and as a result are the best person to make the decisions involved in their care. I am just there to respect, encourage and empower them while they do so. ❤